So Apparently The Government Killed John Denver

Or at least that's what my rock history professor likes to claim. Relax, he's only joking (kinda) but it's one of the funnier conspiracy theories I've heard, so I'd figure I'd share it. I'm not a conspiracy nut (we went to the moon, 9/11 was not an inside job, JFK wasn't killed by the Fed, global warming is legit, Obama was born in Hawaii, etc.), so don't freak out and assume I'm insane. But I do find that whole religion thing a bit iffy.

Now onto our story. Back in the late 1980s, members of congress tried to clamp down on explicit lyrics in music, including that climate whack-job Al Gore (maybe he thought violent or suggestive lyrics added to the greenhouse effect). There was an organization that led the effort to censor these songs, and one of the women spearheading the organization was Tipper Gore, the wife of that climate nut Al Gore. So there was absolutely no conflict of interest. None whatsoever. Zip. Zero. Nada. Ok, maybe a little. But it was totally negligible.

Moving on, the Parents Music Resource Council decided to take on the music industry and ended up having three prominent musicians testify on Capitol Hill, which kinda backfired. Dee Snider, of Twisted Sister, Frank Zappa, and John Denver all went before members of congress, including that science-promoter Al Gore, and strongly criticized the idea of lyrical censorship.

The PMRC expected John Denver to side with them on this issue, but he defiantly rebuked them much to their surprise. Now here's where the conspiracy begins: Denver likened what the PMRC and congress was trying to do with Nazi Germany (ok so he may have SLIGHTLY exaggerated the situation), and they did not take too kindly to that comparison. And, as my professor pointed out, about ten years later John Denver's plane "ran out" of gas. If Glenn Beck's reading this, he must be salivating by now.

(You can find his testimony here: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VgSjjD6rRu4)

That's right, the government killed John Denver because he called them Nazis. The so-called "accident" that Denver died in was a huge conspiracy. Excuse me while I find a blackboard and put on some glasses so I can unmask this coverup.

First, my scrounging around on Wikipedia has revealed that was no flight recorder found. And because it's assumed that all planes have them and that those things NEVER fail, it must be a coverup. It's the only possible conclusion. Unless you use logic, but logic is for Vulcans and Vulcans are fictional so clearly logic is not useful.

Second, I'm sure Van Jones is involved somehow. I have no idea how, but I'm just asking questions. Did Van Jones help the government assassinate John Denver? He's never denied it, which means it has to be true.

Third, the government doesn't like Nazis, and John Denver's real name (provided once again by the infallible Wikipedia) is Henry John Deutschendorf, Jr.  See, he's German, which practically makes him a Nazi and thus a target of the U.S. government.

It's all making sense now, isn't it? There's a vast conspiracy, and the Obama administration has yet to investigate it. Clearly that socialist wanted Denver dead too, because socialists love censorship (at least that's what I assume, I never research this stuff). And because Obama has yet to deny that community organizer is code for assassin, he totally helped do in John Denver. Also, GIVE ME YOUR GOLD!!!

Until next time, Orange Hat Guy