I want to share something and say a few words about a moment from the TV show "Angel" that I thought was rather beautiful and really touched me. Even without knowing what the show was about or the context of the conversation, it's something I think people can appreciate. It goes as follows:
Angel: Well, I guess I kinda worked it out. If there's no great glorious end to all this, if nothing we do matters, then all that matters is what we do. 'Cause that's all there is. What we do. Now. Today. I fought for so long, for redemption, for a reward, and finally just to beat the other guy, but I never got it.
Kate: And now you do?
Angel: Not all of it. All I wanna do is help. I wanna help because I don't think people should suffer as they do. Because if there's no bigger meaning, then the smallest act of kindness is the greatest thing in the world.
As someone who struggles with, and often rejects, the idea that existence has an inherent meaning, this epiphany that Angel has is quite uplifting for me. The idea that just because it's all meaningless doesn't mean there can't be meaning is a bit of a revelation for me, and makes me a bit more optimistic about existence, even if that meaning is our own subjective meaning that we ourselves assign.
I love the idea that I can define my existence and give my own meaning to things rather than simply resigning myself to depressing nihilism. I like the fact that some sort of meaning can still exist, even though this doesn't change the fact that everything (including what I determine to have meaning) is still meaningless.
Also, I apologize for using the word "meaning" over and over and over and over and over again.
Until next time, Orange Hat Guy
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