What Your Favorite Beatle Says About You

Earlier this week, I spent most of Monday and Tuesday listening to as much Beatles music as I possibly could in a 48 hour time span. Why? Because I was mentally exhausted from school and lost all will to care about anything at all, except for Beatles music. As it turns out, Beatles music is quite therapeutic. And as I was walking back to my dorm after running out to CVS to buy floss (I lead an exciting life, I had to battle dragons and rhinoceroses), I began thinking about what a person's favorite Beatle says about them. So without further adieu:

John Lennon – The obvious choice. If John is your favorite, it's probably because you realize he's a genius and extremely talented. Either that or you love drugs, like John did, and Lucy In The Sky With Diamonds has nothing to do with a Lucy in the sky with her diamonds. You're probably also a bit of a hippie and hate The Catcher In The Rye. John has that deep and profound quality to him where you know he's aware of his greatness but he's not going to rub it in and act pretentious because of it. He's just a dude who likes music, drugs and Yoko Ono. He's also got the rebellious nature that you can identify with, thanks to his anti-religious stances and his views on peace that scared the US government enough to look into deporting him. He's my favorite with George in a close second.

Paul McCartney – If Paul's your favorite Beatle, it's probably because you like love songs. Or the ending of Abbey Road. Or maybe you have a strange fascination with bass guitar. But it's probably the love songs. In my (relatively pointless) opinion, there's really no good reason to choose Paul over John. Paul's just a lesser John (let the flame wars commence!). The one exception, perhaps, is Let It Be. It's one of the best songs ever and one of my favorite songs by any artist. So he'll get a pass when it comes to that (and let's not forget George's guitar solo, a vital component of the song). Or maybe Paul's your favorite because you're too arrogant to pick John and want be different. Wrong, but different.

George Harrison – My mom's favorite. If you, like my mom (this is why punctuation is important), also consider George the number one Beatle, that shows you have good tastes. He only gets a couple opportunities per album to shine and if you're not careful you'll miss him. Putting him first also tells me you're not easily impressed by all those Lennon/McCartney credits on each album. You might appreciate George's guitar-playing as well. Dude knows how to make a guitar sing. Or you really love the underdog, because that's really what George is, the underdog. You have to really be devoted in order for him to be your favorite, considering he rarely has more than two of his own songs per album. So if you like George, you're probably also a stalker. But in your defense, there's something in the way he moves.

Ringo Starr – The lazy choice. Everyone who doesn't care enough to think critically about who their favorite Beatle is, or is too pretentious to pick either John, Paul or George, picks Ringo. Or maybe he's your favorite because he has a funny name. Ringo. Because the best way to measure a person is by their name. Perhaps you really really really like Yellow Submarine or Octopus's Garden. Or percussion. Or the Help! movie. Or maybe you just want to be different and pick the less appreciated one. Hipster.

Until next time, Orange Hat Guy